Hello readers! Thank you for visiting my blog again. Life has been quite a ride lately.
Sometimes I'm unsure how much information I should reveal. As I type I'm hoping the words that flow will serve a purpose to whoever is reading, especially if you are having difficult times. I'm aware on my social media I post a lot of positive things, joys, blessings, but I have struggles too. I will share how I deal with them, and what life has been like lately. I recently went to Pennsylvania and came back to Las Vegas. Here are some of the events that happened since being home last week:
Broken heart- here goes... sigh.. I am recently single. I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship, that led to engagement, and now recently broken up. It's been a heart breaking, soul searching experience. I will summarize the experience by saying... it's been painful. Neither of us are "right" or "wrong". I just believe, after deep soul searching, we are not truly truly compatible for each others needs in the long run. Through out the process I kept praying for the strength to take the next right action. It was like getting swept up in an act of nature. I kept wondering if I was making the wrong decisions. I am now newly single and it's time to let my heart heal. ❤️
So after the break up, I packed half of my stuff and took a short road trip. I went from Las Vegas to Death Valley, then up north through the California forests to Mt Shasta. I stayed a couple days then made my way down to LA. Now I'm in Hollywood for the ASCAP Expo.
I arrived at the expo yesterday and I was frustratedg. The hotel I booked lost my reservation, so I had to stay somewhere else, way over my budget. Then I lost my drivers license. I was stressed and upset. Now I'm sitting here listening to an ASCAP panel. Ive been working on my music for a couple years now. Which is almost embarrassing it's been taking so long, but I can see how and why it's been such a process of growth and learning. My songs are recorded, I have a music video shoot scheduled, and now I'm here at the expo for networking. I'm hoping to take my career to the next level. So far it seems very hopeful. It's a delicate balancing act. I'm working towards goals, but listening intently for Divine Guidance on the journey.
Next week on April 19 I'll be celebrating 5 years of recovery from drugs and alcohol. In times of joy and times of sadness one thing always stands... I don't pick up no matter what, and each day I take daily actions to pray, meditate and use other tools to maintain my recovery.
I must admit I like dry sarcastic jokes and my life is somewhat amusing and classic right now. I'm broke, newly single, intense medical news, and here I am in Hollywood chasing my dreams. I don't even know where I'll live when I get back to Vegas. I don't know what's going to happen with my music. I don't know how long it will take to pay off my credit card debt. I don't know if I'll make enough money to do all the upcoming events I have scheduled. I don't know if I made a bad decision by leaving my fiancé. I don't know if I should have paid as much money as I did on my didgeridoo, an instrument I never played before. Lol. But. I believe all these things have happened for a reason. There are fears, but I truly believe each day I am working for the Highest Good, to the best of my ability.
I prayed from my heart today for protection. For guidance to do the next right thing... how can I be in service through my art and my story? I'm curious what's next.
So today I will be attending another panel, "Redefining Success, How to Make it in the Music Industry". I'll also be attending a networking party, hosted by Pandora. Then I'll be watching the artist and rapper showcase at Ohm in Hollywood. So... may the journey continue. Onward and upward... to the moon and Hollywood Stars!! Love you all!! <3
Also... I'm busy but I still have time. If you (readers) would like to reach out to me via email, I would love to hear from you. Wether it's just to say hi, or to exchange encouraging words. ❤️
Thank you to my dear friends and support who have been here for me this past week.
Thank you Danielle Devonn for being my hair and makeup artist and support!
Also, my lisence was returned to the front desk of hotel, a sign of hope!